Ad for a variety of World Wrestling Federation figures (including Hulk Hogan, Iron Sheik, and Rowdy Roddy Piper) and “Hulkamania exercise equipment” from LJN Toys. Scan from the fall 1987 issue of ThunderCats Magazine.

Ad for a variety of World Wrestling Federation figures (including Hulk Hogan, Iron Sheik, and Rowdy Roddy Piper) and “Hulkamania exercise equipment” from LJN Toys. Scan from the fall 1987 issue of ThunderCats Magazine.

Okay. Let me tell you about the insanity in this Japanese music video. It has a plot!

Apparently, the evil organization known as Dethtron (and/or Destron) staged an attack that injured or killed five women. Feeling sadness and inspired by his love of the masked heroes of justice known as Kamen Riders, Japanese professional wrestler Hiroshi Tanahashi uses “his state of the art technology” (including at least one desktop computer, one laptop, and one thingamajig with gauges) to revive these women as Kamen Rider Girls, “androids of perfection” who are also a Kamen Rider-themed singing group.

The Kamen Rider Girls go after the forces of Dethtron, but eventually the battle goes south, so Tanahashi shows up to help out! Things are looking up, but then a Dethtron monster appears - Kame Bazooka, a magic-robot turtleman with a bazooka stuck to his shell. Now Tanahashi is the one on the (figurative) ropes, but who should show up except… Kamen Rider V3! Together, Tanahashi and V3 mop up the Dethtron forces, then both depart after saying farewell to the Kamen Rider Girls.

The whole video is meant to evoke the origin of Kamen Rider V3, who was made into a cyborg by Kamen Rider 1 and 2 after being grievously injured by Dethtron. This puts Tanahashi in the role of the original two Kamen Riders, which… well, if a biochemist/motorcyclist and a photographer can make a single cyborg, surely a champion pro wrestler can make five “androids,” right?

Not sure why two of the Kamen Rider Girls have the same superhero outfit, though. That seems like a faux-pas. I do like how one one them seems to be dressed as Transformers: Prime Arcee (not actually likely), while Tanahashi may be wearing pants based on Kamen Rider Fourze (marginally likely, as he is a legit Kamen Rider fan and has worn KR-themed pants in the past).

And then there was that time Destro’s voice actor mentored a group of superheroic masked wrestlers, who spent most of their time fighting a chihuahua with the mind of an evil scientist.

LOS LUCHADORES!